Wednesday, July 15, 2009

The English Lesson

It's "girl" not "gurl." The plural is "girls," not "gurlz." And if someone is over eighteen, they're not girls anymore, they are women.

It's "email," not "fe-mail." Or "e-mail," depending on who you ask.

"2" is not the same as "to" or "too," but it is the same as "two."

"Come" and "cum" are not the same thing.

A "trannie" is a gearbox on your car. Calling a transgendered person a "tranny" will either get a laugh or your ass whipped. You have been warned.

If you are texting, abbreviations are acceptable. If you are writing an instant message, a blog post, or an email, they are not.

Every word processor has a spell check function. So do most other text entry programs. Please use them.

typing everything in lowercase worked for e.e. cummings. you are not e.e. cummings. it's an affectation if you use it. that or you're a submissive, in which case, we'll talk...

Yes, I use a lot of ellipses. It's my affectation, live with it. I didn't say I was perfect...

Class dismissed.

6 comments:

  1. Thank you! I think you hit on almost every peeve I have in blog world. I find that if I'm on the fence about whether you're interesting enough to follow, tight sentence construction and correct punctuation might put you over the top.

    Oh, and don't get me started about improper use of apostrophes and commas. Long live the Queen's English!

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  2. But but but butt, I'm not like them Miss.

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  3. Also: 'u' is a letter, 'you' is a word (and 'yew' is a tree);

    4 is a number, not a word

    and m8 is a target when playing battleships.

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  4. And you should never begin a sentence with a conjunction. Also, "lose" is spelled with only one "o" and is a verb. "Loose" is an adjective and means something entirely different.

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  5. you know what i cant stand is the long run on sentence where they cant use any capitals or punctuation and it just seems to go on an on and i dont understand the point and they are trying to say something but theyre not so i guess that drives me nuts ;-D

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  6. As for me, I have when people say "would of" instead of "would have." Everyone else knows they are trying to type "would've," which sounds the same when spoken out loud. Get it right, people, "I would of killed him for using bad grammar," just makes no sense.

    I love ellipses, but only in groups of three. You have a new follower...

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