Connections

My friend Jenny posted this excerpt from her friend's Flickr profile:

I think that it is extremely important that we all, as representatives of the transgender community, present ourselves publicly with intelligence, dignity, empathy, beauty, grace & class., (and a bit of humor never hurts!)
What you do behind closed doors is all up to you, but pride in ourselves and our sisters I should think would be how you would like others to see you... ;))) Presentations which degrade the female being are reflections of thought patterning which sees GG's as something to objectify.. it's wrong in my book and it offends my inner female...If you truly are TG then you respect your inner true self and your sisters. Period. It's true that it's almost impossible for most of us to fool anyone, BUT if you can present yourselves with pride and confidence... it does, believe me, open many doors and minds.... and you will be able to step out into the world with confidence... ;D

I agree with some of her opinions. Like it or not, we are representatives of the "transgender community" every time we are out in public. I think it's more important to present yourself as a person, not a stereotype. What is intelligent, dignified, beautiful, graceful and classy is up to the individual. I know that the way I present myself may not the same way some others would, but I try to be someone who is not going to embarrass herself.

No, I don't think wearing a micro mini, your tightest spandex top, stockings with garters peeking out from under the skirt and five inch stilettos is the best thing to wear to Wal-Mart. But I also don't think you have to wear a tshirt, jeans, and flip-flops* either. There are other choices, you know?

I'd like to hear your opinions...


*The outfits that the majority of the GG's who shop at my local Wal-Mart seem to chose...

A few choice words (not mine)

My friend Sabrina Pandora, from her LiveJournal:

If something that I say or an opinion that I put forth or a feeling that I express offends you or hurts your feelings, then don't cry about it to anyone but me. Why? Because grown-ups do that. They communicate. If you are upset with me in some way and never communicate it to me in any form at all save second hand (ie through others) then quite frankly, I don't care. If it isn't important enough to say something about it to me, then obviously it wasn't that important. People who have known me for six months know that. I would expect those who have known me longer to know it that much better.

~~~~~

I lead a unique existence in many ways. No, I am not the only one of my kind in any way shape or form, but I'm certainly different than your average joe on the street. There are some suggested guidelines for my lifestyle as well as precedents for what has gone before. But I'm a very big girl. I happen to think that I am capable of making my own decisions, and determining my own course in life. Yes, I do go through rough times, as do we all. Yes, I have made things harder on myself by embracing the lifestyle that I have. Yes, there are plenty of other ways to go about this life of mine. And no, I am not so egotistical as to think that I know better than everyone who has preceded me.

But this is my life. Mine. It is not the girl down the street, nor that guy over there, and their lives are different from mine. What is necessary for them may not be so for me, just as what is necessary for me may not be right for them. And in living it, I seek advice and counsel from many sources to make my own decisions. But they are my decisions to make, and mine to live with. No one else. There have been consequences for my actions as I have changed myself over the past few years, and I have paid them. Perhaps not without some lament nor complaint, but I'm no saint. I'm only human. How many of you can say that you have not done the same in your own lives, though the outward expression most likely was not nearly as drastic? Do you too not seek counsel from those near to you when considering possibilities or encountering hard times? And shall you too be judged for that?

~~~~~

In closing, I've a few words for my critics first. If you don't like the way I dress, the shoes I wear, the way I talk, the way I walk, the way I express myself, the way that I choose to cope with the attention that comes my way, both good and bad, the way I work, the way I play, the way I dance or the way I date... I have a very simple answer.

Don't watch or listen. Ignore me. That's the best way I know to show your disapproval of me and my choices. Just ignore me and to you I simply go away.

And to those of you who don't fall into the categories of those who disapprove, the same advice holds. If you want me in your life, then make an effort to be a part of mine. A friend I hadn't seen in a long time came to visit me, and we found that after all of these years, we are better friends than ever before, because of the people that we've become. And that's all it takes to be a part of my life- be a friend.

*****

I hope she doesn't mind that I quoted her. A lot. But I read this today, and it hit home, and says some things I have been feeling for a while but had never put into words.

I have some very smart friends.

Quoted from another blogger

Yahoo! 360 - Renee's Blog: "“I think trying to find a cause of transgenderism or trying to find a cause of sexual orientation is really going down the wrong track,” Aronoff said. “It doesn’t really matter why people are who they are, it just matters that they are. And that they be treated with respect and are able to live to their full potential.”

-- Simon Aronoff, a female-to-male transgender activist"

11/10/09-Yahoo! 360 was shut down in mid-2009 so the link no longer worked.