Learning to swim

This was a reply to someone on the SCCLounge about their difficulties meeting people at the convention. I think it also applies to people getting out in general...

I'm not a "Big Sister," though I do seem to find the newbies and point them in the right directions all the time. Not just at SCC, but in my own city. And this is going to sound harsh, but I mean it in the most sincere, most caring way...

If you're upset about not making connections, it's your fault. You're at the largest gathering of transpeople in the world, surrounded by hundreds of people like yourself. The most understanding group you'll ever meet, because they know exactly how you feel.

Did you go to any of the meals? You could have talked to the people you were sitting with. Did you go to any of the seminars? You had lots of opportunities to ask questions or talk to someone. What about just going to the lobby or the bar? 

Need a topic? I tell people I love what they're wearing-that's how I found one of by best friends! Trust me, we all love a compliment and say they like our style. Or, if I'm in a seminar and someone asks a good question, I tell them afterward. I've met people over dinner, listening to their conversations and asking questions. 

Okay, yes, I'm THAT Zelda so people are always walking up to me. But I wasn't so well known when I first came to SCC. What I was was a shy, insecure girl. I could have stayed in my room, but I didn't. Because I would rather get out there and fail than die by inches alone...

And yes, I really am shy. Horribly so. I am insecure about how I look, I worry about that I'll say something stupid, or I'll have someone scream "It's a dude!" at me from across a room. 

But I eventually look at myself in the mirror and I'm the best looking Zelda I can be. I'll say stupid things, then laugh at myself and people think it's just me being me. And people don't scream at you, unless they're drunk and on Bourbon Street. 

I guess what I'm trying to tell you is, you have to do it. You have to look at yourself and love yourself and realize that you're the person who has to push you out there. You have to push yourself, because this is important. Every one of us faced what you did-feeling alone and unwanted. But we also decided that we weren't going to stay that way.

Courtney, I do wish I'd seen you at SCC. Because I'd have told you to step up to the diving board, and jump. 

Because you can swim, dear. And you'll swim just fine. 

xoxo

Zelda Rose