Transgender Day of Remembrance

Transgender Day of Remembrance

Let's not recognize marriage, then

A Marriage Manifesto... Of Sorts | RD Blog: The Devil's Advocate | ReligionDispatches

Tom Ackerman at Religion Dispatches makes a modest proposal-if the majority won't recognize same-sex marriage, why should they recognize other people's marriages?

I no longer recognize marriage. It’s a new thing I’m trying.

Turns out it’s fun.

Yesterday I called a woman’s spouse her boyfriend.

She says, correcting me, “He’s my husband,”
“Oh,” I say, “I no longer recognize marriage.”

The impact is obvious. I tried it on a man who has been in a relationship for years,

“How’s your longtime companion, Jill?”
“She’s my wife!”
“Yeah, well, my beliefs don’t recognize marriage.”

Fun. And instant, eyebrow-raising recognition. Suddenly the majority gets to feel what the minority feels. In a moment they feel what it’s like to have their relationship downgraded, and to have a much taken-for-granted right called into question because of another’s beliefs.

It's a very subversive tactic, and maybe an effective one. For those people (like me) who do have a traditional marriage, it's also something to think about. How would you feel if one day, your relationship was suddenly dismissed as unimportant?


Thanks to Sabrina Pandora for the link.

Two events, different results

Last Saturday, I went to the Dallas Bound and Determined party at The Sanctuary. I didn't have high hopes for this, mostly because a) The Sanctuary is not one of my favorite places and b) the person organizing it has never done anything like this before.

But you know what? I was wrong. Jennifer and her volunteers made it work. The crowd was a good mix of leather, bdsm and fetish types. Things went off pretty much as planned. And there were some interesting side things going on. Okay, I'll personally admit that being able to try a vac bed for the first time might have put me into a better mood...But I can't say that I saw anyone at the end of the night who was disappointed. Plus, it raised a lot of money for Bryan's House, which cares for children affected by HIV/AIDS in Dallas.

A week later, it's the Dallas Fetish Ball, held at The Church. This was my third time going, and I almost passed because it's not a lot of fun to attend these events if you aren't going with a group. But my friend Barbie from Kansas was going, and we've never met in person before. So...

Barbie's a fun person to be around, and she looks great in a latex catsuit. She's also someone very straightforward, which is unfortunately a rarity in the fetish community.

The Church is too small for the event; you can't walk around or talk to people. The stage is hard to see unless you're upstairs on the balcony. They'd moved the "play space" outside to the porch, which meant the place you could go if it was too noisy was unavailable unless you wanted to climb up to the rooftop-which was freezing. And the "energy" was...not there. Sure there's a lot of people dressing up, but you kind of felt like that's what it was-dress up. The people who I knew were seriously into the lifestyle who were there sort of stood out. Am I being jaded? Maybe? We left about 12:30-and people were still waiting to get in.

I know this is a big event in Dallas-between this and the Black and Blue Ball (done by the same people) there's no other open fetish events. It's a professional event, with lots of performers (though they seem to be the same ones every year). So they should know what they are doing. And considering the state of fetish/bdsm in Dallas, I shouldn't be critical. But do you support something because it's there, or do it because it's worth your time?

So, I had more fun at the little, amateur-produced event than the big, professional one.

So what have you been up to?

After SCC, I had about a week to decompress and try to get back into things. Of course, life has a way of interfering with your mood. I decided to make the local crossdresser's group's monthly meeting, more as an excuse to dress up than anything. I'd mentioned on their mailing list that I needed to find a pair of dress boots, and someone offered to bring a pair in my size to try. It was also their Halloween party, but I decided to not bother trying with a costume-I knew I was going to go do some shopping before the party. I could have brought something to wear, but why bother?

Ever notice it always takes you twice as long to get ready as you think it will, even if you know what you're wearing? Exactly. I drove to Electrique Boutique to see if they might have a pair of dress boots. I knew they'd have stripper boots, and fetish thigh-highs, but anything less dramatic they don't normally carry in my size.

And I was right. So off to Kroger's for snacks for the party, then to the Gay and Lesbian Center for the meeting. I wasn't the only person who didn't dress for the holiday. But some did, including a new person who I didn't recognise. When we started talking, we realised that we knew each other from online. Small world?

The turnout for the meeting was not bad, there was more socializing than anything, though nobody seemed to want to go out afterward and I wasn't going alone, so I called it an early night. In the past, that would have bothered me but somehow tonight, it didn't. I did talk to Anna about going shopping the following Friday at Allen Premium Outlets for the boots. She was interested in going out shopping, and I like spending time with her.

So, the following Friday, I do my best casual girl look (black ballet top with 3/4 length sleeves, purple and black print broomstick skirt) and called her on the way. When she realised we had made plans, and I took my time getting there to give her time to get ready. We went to the outlet mall, and walked the entire thing (it's a big outdoor mall in a circle). And NOBODY had a pair of boots in 12m. I mean, really! I did get a sweater at Lane Bryant Outlet, which is one of the best places to shop. But I was cranky enough over not finding boots that I went back home earlier than I'd planned, fighting Friday evening traffic which made me more cross...

I talked to a friend online about my problem, and she suggested looking for a particular boot on eBay. And I found them, at a good price. They came in today, and fit perfectly! THAT made my day!

Saturday afternoon I fly to DC for a wedding of two good friends. Andrea I've known for a while, since we were commenting on each other's LiveJournals. I've seen her romance with Brooke blossom for a while, and when I was invited to attend I was truly touched. Which is why I needed the boots, because the outfit I'm wearing wouldn't work as well without them.

So, that's what has been going on. More or less. I'll post something from DC...

Southern Comfort

So, I went to my eighth Southern Comfort Conference, held annually in Atlanta. This was our second year at the Crowne Plaza Ravinia, and things went far better than last year with the hotel. A lot of positive things, some weird ones, and a few missteps...

+ As I said, the hotel was far better than last year. They were not prepared for us, and it showed with slow service, problems with housekeeping, and backups. This year, they were well-staffed, things went a lot faster, and housekeeping was great. The staff loved us; we tip well and don't tear up rooms or cause problems.

+ The hotel is also across the street from Perimeter Mall, one of the best malls in the city. The stores are great, and their staffs were wonderful to us. I never had anything but the best service! MAC of course had a wonderfully professional staff. I got some great tips on fixing a problem I've been having with under eye circles; learned a lot about avoiding putting certain things there and the make up artist found the right concealer to use.

And then there's Bloomingdale's Yves St. Laurent counter. I was just walking past, on my way out, and ended up in a fun conversation with the make up artist and her boss-whos son owns a restaurant in Dallas. I had to promise to come back again to get my eye makeup done (hey, a girl's got her priorities)...

+ Seeing people who have not been to an SCC in some time. And seeing more new people than before, including younger transpeople. Also, more transmen than last year. Even though overall attendance was slightly down, the mix made up for it.

+ SCC once again had excellent presentations. We always manage to get some great people, and this year was no exception

+ Atlanta is a great city. The people are friendly and there are lots of things to do. I never had a cross word or odd look.

+ Outwrite Bookstore and Coffeehouse is still the best LGBT bookstore anywhere, with a great selection of books and music, good coffee and pastries, and a wonderful location (Piedmont and 10th in Midtown). It used to be in walking distance from the old hotel, and is one of the few things I really miss with the new location.

+ Meeting Ronnie Rho finally. She's even more fun in person than she is online. We just clicked right off, going into total rifts on things and confusing one and all. That's a sign. She also helped me when I thought I had a major disaster on my hands (which turned out okay). She didn't need to, but she helped a lot.

+ Seeing Renee again. I forgot how great she was to hang around with. She's also great to conspire with-which is a plus in my book. She is trying to make me go to Frolicon, and tempting me with her wicked ways...

+ The usual suspects: Emma and her spouse, Divinyl and Jennifer. We always seem to see each other and have far more fun than we ought to. Great people to spend time with :)

+ My long-suffering roommate, Christianne. A year has made a lot of difference and none. And you're still one of the easiest people I know to get along with.

+ Starbucks. Because I wouldn't make it without coffee.

+ Andrea and Brooke are wonderful people to spend a day with, have a meal, share drinks. They make such a cute couple. And they're getting hitched soon!

+ The Fabulous Sabrina Pandora, a force of nature who is one of the best friends I could have. She's told me things I needed to hear, even when I may not have wanted to. And she's got the most distracting personality I know...

+ There are a lot of other people I have forgotten. Know that I am glad to have seen you :)

+ There is something so empowering about being in a place where you are in the majority. Hundreds of people who are like you, who you feel connected with, and who you can share an experience with.

- Atlanta traffic is killer. And it's so easy to get lost, espcially with the constant road construction.

- The gas crisis, which caused people to do silly things but thank goodness, was less of a crisis by the end of the week.

- Why do I find ways to cause me to mental? It's always little stuff, like wardrobe failures that make me take forever to get ready and put things behind. And then I feel pressure on myself to try to catch up again...

- Can someone explain to me why TSA agents in Atlanta have to act like pricks, while the ones at DFW are professionals?

+/- AirTran is nearly as good as Southwest, but their stupid fees suck. At least they are not as bad as American or Delta.

- There is never enough time to do all you want to at SCC. So it motivates you to come back, I suppose.

- You leave SCC on Sunday and things seem so different. And it takes time to get back to the world...

Fear is the mindkiller. And it looks terrible in pumps.

An SCC post soon, but for now...

Someone on a local mailing wrote about going to an event at the Galleria and having a great time. And then some little kid "clocked*" her. She felt very bad afterward, so wrote:

Zelda came of age in New Orleans, in the French Quarter. The locals are great people; they don't care about your eccentricities; they do care about the kind of person you are. If you don't bother them...

Tourists, however.

Ever notice how some people leave home and decide that the rules of decorum and manners aren't important anymore? Exactly. I have had people scream "It's a guy in a dress" at me. I had a lit cigarette tossed at me (it missed). I have been treated rudely, stared at, pointed at, whispered about.

I should have run back to the hotel, crying, tearing off my dress and wiping the makeup off, promising I will never do this again. I didn't. It just pissed me off at first. Then, I realized that I really did not CARE what they thought of me. I was happy with myself, and that was what mattered.

Since then, I have been all over the country. I have had people make remarks, but that has gotten rarer. I went to the mall last year with a tgirl, and when we were leaving she asked me how I could stand the staring. I had not even noticed...

Do I look better now than I used to? Yes. Am I more "passable?" Whatever that means. Do I have a lot more confidence in myself, feel like I belong anyplace I reasonably want to be, not give a f**k what the tourists think? Oh, yes!

So, one kid clocking you is just little thing. You just go on with the day...

Sometimes you really just need to get on with it. Because when you let others limit you, it's putting you back into another closet.

And I'm no closet queen anymore.

* Clocked-Having someone notice that you're not a cisgendered female. They may just stare, or do something else that makes you know that they know.

Sometimes, it's important to support each other

From the July 18, 2008 Dallas Voice:

Gay bar bans drag queens on ‘Trashy Tuesday’

Fueled by cheap drink prices and nearly naked, toned men dancing for tips, Tuesday night bar-hopping on Fitzhugh Avenue is becoming a staple in the Dallas LGBT community. So much so that locals have even given the event a nickname — “Trashy Tuesday.”

But Crews Inn co-owner David Moore says he plans to remove the “T” — for transgender, that is — from the clientele at his Fitzhugh Avenue bar on Tuesday nights.

Moore has banned drag queens-and any transperson whose appearance does not match their photo ID-from Crews Inn. The reason?

“Drag queens act like they are divas and think they can’t do no wrong,” Moore said. “They have stolen money straight off the bar, hassled costumers for drinks and locked themselves in the bathroom with a bunch of guys. And with Tuesday being our busiest night, there is just no way for me to keep the drag queens under control then. I don’t want drag queens in here that are going to misbehave.”

So his solution?

That’s why starting Tuesday, July 15 Moore and his employees began asking transgender women and drag queens to leave. Local drag performers Ivana Tramp and Celeste Williams — who now goes by Emelisa Nunez — said they and a friend were told to go when a bartender, and former drag queen himself, came over and said, “I’m sorry, but the owner is in one of his moods, and he doesn’t want this.”

“I was like, ‘What do you mean? What are you saying?’” Tramp said. “And he goes, ‘David says he doesn’t want this’ — making a hand gesture at us — ‘in this bar, trannies, drag queens or girls.”


Moore "doesn't want this" in his bar. Trannies, drag queens, or girls. And his logic defending his position?

“How do I separate one drag queen that is being bad from others?” Moore said. “We don’t have the time on Tuesday nights with all the people in here to sit there and tell them apart from one another. If a drag queen misbehaves one week and then the next comes back in a different outfit I wouldn’t be able to recognize them. That’s why I don’t want any of them in here on Tuesdays.”


Right...

Now, go a block down the street to Zippers, and ask them if they've had problems with drag queens:

“I have not noticed any difference in the behavior of drag queens from our other customers,” he said. “They behave themselves very well and do not cause problems. They will always be welcomed at Zippers.”

Miller says he's not biased against drag queens:

“If I did (have a bias), several of my employees would not be working here because they are drag queens, too,” he said.

But if they showed up at the door in drag, you'd refuse to let them in, right?

According to the Dallas Tavern Guild's spokesperson, what Moore is doing is acceptable:

Michael Doughman, executive director of the Dallas Tavern Guild, said as long as Moore is keeping them out because of behavior issues, “he has every right to run his business the way he wants to.” Crew’s Inn is a member of the Tavern Guild, a local association of gay bars.

“I’ve never know David to be prejudiced toward any group of people, so I can’t imagine that it is just because they are guys in drag,” Doughman said.

Even though Moore says he is banning all transpeople-not specific persons.

Oh, and if you're a transsexual, crossdresser, transgendered, or genderqueer and think this is not your problem-it is. Because if your ID doesn't match your presentation, you can't go into Crews Inn. And if Moore can justify not allowing people in for their appearance, then what stops another bar owner from doing the same? And to say "all drag queens are bad," how far is it to say "all transpeople are bad?"

Maybe I just think this is more important than it is...

Alive?

Yes, still alive. Wish I could explain it, but I can't. Trying not to be a flake, I promise.

Pam Hogg

Some of her delicious runway shows.

Oh, by the way.

Today's my birthday. Nothing special going on. Going to New Orleans for the first time by myself since I moved away almost two years ago.

So, yah, that's it. Oh, here's a video:

Just saying, you know?

I use Yahoo Messenger for my IM's, mostly because the vast majority of people I know use it too. And while it's not perfect, it does work. I've also gotten a pretty large "friends" list, too. Most of the people I talk to online are really friends; people who I like and who I have either met in person or hope to someday.

And there's a few who I won't, and wonder why I ever "friended" them. They are Tgirls, who I thought were interesting or who contacted me. But after a while, I have realized their needs and mine are not the same.

See, I'm not a whore. Or a madam. My home isn't a brothel. I am not a dating service, or a tour guide. I don't do charity work for wayward trannies.

So why is it that people want me to:

* Have sex with them, even when they know I'm married.
* Want me to find them someone who'll have sex with them.
* Want to come to my house so I can "entertain" them because they can't in their own home.
* Want me to invite them to come to Dallas and spend time showing them around and "partying."
* Want me to show them how to shop, dress, do makeup, behave, for nothing more than their gratitude.

Why?

What reason should I have to break up my relationship for you? Why should I find you a sex partner? Why should I bring a stranger to my home because they're not out to their own spouse? Why should I spend days entertaining you? Why should I teach you when you're not willing to do the work first?

Because we're "sisters?" Honey, we didn't come out of the same womb. Because I somehow owe you? No, I don't. I owe a debt to those who have helped me-for no other reason than they wanted to. They didn't ask for anything in return. And I've helped trannys who asked but didn't grab onto me like a leech when I said "Now you do it."

I'm finding that I am becoming such a cynic.

Oh, there IS a caveat. There are people out there who I'd do anything for. Who I regard as friends, who I care about, and who have shown me kindness through the years. They know me, my life, and would NEVER ask something that I couldn't do. Those people always have an open invitation to my home, and I'd happily play tour guide because I enjoy their company. And I bet those people know who they are, too.

True friends have my heart. The leeches get my stompy boot.

Monica

Although I've known about Monica Greene, owner of Monica's aca y alla in Dallas being a transperson, I've never really heard her story. I found a link to an article in the Dallas Observer from 2003, ten years after her surgery.

It's a very good piece, but it also points out how accepted Monica is. She was a successful restaurant owner who had serious doubts about staying in Dallas and transitioning, yet managed to do so and making her business successful. She did not hide her transsexuality; at times she used it in her advertising to make a point about change.

It also says something about Dallas. I'd never have thought when I moved here that you could be openly trans and successful. But Dallas does seem to have its surprises...

Today, Monica's is still a very successful restaurant, and she even placed second in 2005's city council race. And still happy with her choices.

How to Kill A Transperson

From the Gay Alliance of the Genesse Valley's newsletter:

February 15th, 2008

By Ceridwen Troy
This article was written on Friday, Feb. 15, 2008.

On Saturday, Sanesha Stewart, a transwoman of color living in the Bronx, was murdered in her own apartment. She was 25 years old. Her accused killer, Steve McMillan, had known her for months, yet when he was arrested, he claimed to have been enraged to find out that she was what the media coverage called not really a woman. He stabbed her over and over again in the chest and throat. She tried to fight him off; there were defensive wounds found on her hands.

On Tuesday, eighth-grader Lawrence King was in a classroom in Oxnard, Calif. He was openly gay, and often came to school in gender-bending clothing, makeup, jewelry and shoes. According to another student, it was freaking the guys out. One of them shot Lawrence in the head. He was declared brain-dead on Wednesday.

It is easy to look at cases like this and think, how tragic. How random. How senseless.

But then, you forget how easy it is to kill a transgender person.

You forget that all across this nation, faith leaders of all stripes, men and women who claim to speak for God Himself, call us sinners, call us abominations, call us evil.

You forget that at best the media depicts us as something to be pitied, something that our families must be strong and overcome. At worst, they depict us as abnormal, exploiting our bodies for ratings, exploiting the publics fear of us for shock value.

You forget that on a good day, law enforcement agents are neglectful of us, and that far more frequently they join in our harassment. You forget the transwomen of color who are rounded up on suspicions of prostitution. You forget the beatings that go uninvestigated. You forget the molestation and rape we face when we are arrested.

You forget the medical establishment that drains our wallets for the therapy and hormones and surgeries they tell us we need. You forget the way we are then refused treatment when we are dying, dying of treatable diseases, dying of easily patched wounds.

You forget that, by the law of the land, it is legal in the majority of states to deny us employment, to deny us service, to deny us housing.

You forget the shelters and the rape crisis centers that will not allow us through their doors.

You forget that many of us do not even have family to turn to when we are at our most desperate.

You forget that the leaders of our own community have told us that it is not time for us to have rights, that it is not pragmatic for us to be considered worthy of the same respect as other human beings.

You forget that in our own circles, it is considered a negative thing to be too flamboyant. You forget the way our pride parades have been derided by our own community. You forget the scorn heaped upon drag queens by other gay men. You forget the fear to be seen in public with a friend who is considered too open, too queer.

You forget the way it seeps into the minds of transgender people, too. You forget the way a transsexual will shout that she is not a crossdresser, as if there were something wrong with that. You forget the catty names we call each other if we don’t pass”

You forget how many of us take our own lives every year.

You forget because the noise is always there, a constant drone in the background. Every newspaper piece that calls a transwoman he instead of she. Every talk show host who spends an hour talking about our genitals. Every childish taunt about looking like a tranny. Every transperson who talks about themselves as true transsexuals. Every activist and politician who tells us now is not the time.

You forget too, how easy it is to kill a person of color, with myths about gangstas and lies about immigrants. You forget how easy it is to kill a person living in poverty, cutting off her welfare because she is suuposedly being paid to breed. You forget how easy it is to kill a sex worker, with sex-shaming language, slinging about slurs like hooker and whore.

You forget the message hidden inside every single one of those statements.

You are less than I am. You are not worthy of the rights and respect that I am worthy of.

You are not human.

It is very easy to kill something that you do not see as human.

It is very easy to kill a transperson.

The Real Truth About Crossdressing?

Self Help Magazine posted an article called "The Real Truth About Crossdressing," which is supposed to answer the stereotypes. I think it has some very simplistic answers, and a few wrong ones, but I'd like to hear your opinions first...

Rare benefits: Goldman Sachs covers sex changes - Feb. 8, 2008

Rare benefits: Goldman Sachs covers sex changes - Feb. 8, 2008

Wall Street is typically considered a pretty conservative place to work. But the classic white-shoe investment bank is loosening things up by adding health benefits that cover sex-change operations.

Not only is Goldman Sachs ranked No. 9 on Fortune's list of 100 Best Companies to Work For, it also appears on what could be a list of transgendered job-seekers' ideal employers as well.

Goldman added health-insurance coverage of sex reassignment surgery as part of a push last year to attract top talent and recruit and retain a more diverse workforce, the company said.

Miserable? It must be U | The Register

Well, this explains a lot:

Miserable? It must be U | The Register

Great, I have a few more years of this crap...

See this.

If you are gay, you need to see this. If you are not gay, you need to see it, too, so you'll understand why it's important for you to know this, too.

SafeSexIsHotSex.com is a website by Chi Chi LaRue that talks about the huge upswing in AIDS among young gay men. In particular, the turn towards bareback (unprotected) sex by some producers and how this influences young gay men. LaRue has been in the gay porn industry as an actor, director and producer for twenty years and refuses to do any barebacking films, and urges men to remember that what you see on a video may NOT be the best thing to do in real life.

What's Eating Zelda Rose?

I haven't posted anything here in a long time. Very little to my LiveJournal. And I have ignored my Yahoo360 and MySpace, but that's normal.

Some people get depressed and it makes them more creative; I get depressed and it shuts me down. I start drifting, and right now it's very easy to drift.

Sorry if I've disappointed my public, but I'm just not in the mood :(

Addenda

Okay, I forgot a few things to say in my SCC report:

* Christianne should get a medal for being my roommate. The ideal person to share a space with-we don't get into each other's way, or have to keep each other entertained. But we get along really well, and have the same snarky sense of seeing things so it works perfectly...

* This year was a major turning point for SCC, in more ways than one. Moving the convention away from the Downtown/Buckhead area, which was also closer to the "gay" areas of the city. There was a risk moving to the suburbs, and the edge of the Perimeter (the ring road that surrounds Atlanta and defines the city from the suburban sprawl). I admit that it worked out far better than I expected, but I also ended up having to drive further to see things.

SCC hosted the first Transgender Career Expo this year. There were major companies participating, like American Airlines, Turner and Sprint. And from what I've heard, it went incredibly well. SCC also made changes to the programming and events, some of which worked better than others. SCC, which was already the largest TG convention, is probably going to be the most influential in a few years.

* I flew AirTran from Dallas to Atlanta. The irony is not lost on me.

* One of the more remarkable moments of the trip was a small one. One of the DC Posse wanted to go to the mall across the street, but didn't' want to go alone, so of course I generously volunteered to join her. Yes, I'm so selfless...Did some shopping, we tried on hats (she wanted a ball cap, which she kept putting on sideways), got coffee. On the way back out, she asked me how I could stand people staring at me.

I said, "What people?" I had not noticed anyone staring. I really don't worry about what other people think when I'm out, unless they are openly hostile. It's not like I think I won't be noticed-I'm tall, big, and not exactly a shrinking violet in public. To learn how to be comfortable with yourself and not panic when you are "clocked" are two important social skills any transperson has to develop, quickly. Unless you want to remain in your closet forever...

Need tea, that's enough for now.

What Happened To Zelda At SCC, Finally.

Okay, so much for actually thinking I can keep up with a blog on a regular basis. And my detailed recap of Southern Comfort 2007? Right...

So let's do what I normally do-recap wildly.

*I like the new hotel; I hate the new hotel. The location, while away from our traditional Downtown/Buckhead area, does have the advantage of a large mall across the road, lots of restaurants in the area, and easy access to the major highways. The lobby is simply gorgeous, with lots of places to sit and talk. The ballrooms are large, and there were fewer problems with the temperature than in the past. The catering was decent, and there was a franchised Starbucks kiosk in the lobby for that morning emergency caffeine charge. The staff was friendly, and professional. And it was nice to not have to pay for parking.

The bad part? The hotel was totally unprepared for us. I had issues with getting my room cleaned. I checked in on Monday, and it was Wednesday before anyone cleaned the room. I had to call for clean towels Tuesday and Wednesday, at which time I went to the desk and politely complained. Which got me a comped night, and a promise to have the room cleaned the next day. Saturday, the toilet nearly overflowed, I called for someone to look after it. Nobody ever came; fortunately, it cleared itself up enough to work, partially, the rest of the stay.

Getting served in the lounge? Don't be in any rush for drinks or food. They were understaffed most of the time; it only got better towards the end of the week when they realized that, gee, we DID spend a lot of money in the hotel...While the food service for the banquets were decent, the wait staff seemed indifferent at times. Oh, and why do upscale hotels STILL charge for broadband?

I guess we'd been spoiled with the Sheraton Colony Square, which is now W Atlanta Midtown. The staff was incredible, the service was great, and the rooms were nice. Moving to a Crowne Plaza, I thought we would have a similar level of service. What I wonder is, did someone with SCC not make it clear what kind of clients we are, or did the Crowne Plaza not believe it? Regardless, we're back there for 2008, and I refuse to cut them any slack.

*Being across from Perimiter Mall was very convenient. Besides having the only MAC store in the city, they also have Sephora and a great selection of shops and places to eat.

*Little Five Points is still a must visit stop for me. Even if it seems like it's losing some of the charm it had when I first went down there. But as long as my favorite jewelery place is still there, and it keeps feeling like Magazine Street, I'll return.

Silver King
The Bazaar
1130 Euclid Ave.
Atlanta, GA
404-547-2866


*I found, thanks to my friend Adrya, a great shoe store. Run by a very nice lady, who was very helpful, they had shoes that fit and looked good-and weren't hooker shoes! I will definitely return.

A Step Above
470 Ponce de Leon Ave. NE
Atlanta, GA 30308
404-888-0022

*I can't say how much I appreciated Sabrina Pandora spending a day with me, and seeing her is always a good thing. She's a friend, and a critic, and I hope she realizes how much I appreciate her.

*Going out to dinner with friends is something that means a lot to me. And it's part of why I like SCC. Getting to spend time with the DC Posse, making new friends, enjoying good food. It's so simple, yet it makes me feel so much more...complete?

*Atlanta is a wonderful city. Even though the traffic is hell-but living in Dallas has taught me a lot about dealing with it. I feel very comfortable going out, the city's Southern charm hasn't been lost, and I look forward to returning.

*I get to see old friends, make new ones. And that's worth the trip.

*There is still nothing like being in a room where you are part of the majority, you don't feel so alien. Even if you are.

*Flying still sucks. I'd rather drive, but 14+ hours straight? Um, no.

*I made a conscious decision to "dress down" a bit this year. Not totally, because I can't do it. But to look more, um, passable? God, I hate that word...



This is me, with Vickie Collins and Vicky Renee-two people I've known since my first SCC. Yes, I need to lose weight. But I think I look pretty good. I avoided doing the gothgirl thing most of the trip, did not wear a corset once, but in case you think I lost it:



Me and the fabulous Mistress Divinyl at Twinkledome. I'd hate her if she wasn't such a great person; she's gorgeous.

I did get compliments on how I looked, including a few from people I did not expect. So, expect more fabulousness!

*Did I mention how much I like seeing people? Good. I also came to realize that some people I need to let go. One particular person, I have tried to be friends with for years, even when he's caused me headaches on the SCCLounge. What finally happened was I realized he was never going to let go of things that happened in the past, and I wasn't willing to sit by and be his audience. I don't feel good about this, but I feel it was necessary.

*I don't feel such a need for "support" as much as I do friendship. I've been trying to get a dinner group going here in Dallas, and our first one went well. But people have shown little interest in a second one, and I feel like I'm back in New Orleans, where nobody wanted to do anything but go to meetings and one place to eat...

*No post-SCC letdown. I managed to keep the feeling going for quite some time. I guess it was worth the sacrifice I made to attend...

And I can't wait for SCC2008.