Thursday, October 9, 2008

Fear is the mindkiller. And it looks terrible in pumps.

An SCC post soon, but for now...

Someone on a local mailing wrote about going to an event at the Galleria and having a great time. And then some little kid "clocked*" her. She felt very bad afterward, so wrote:

Zelda came of age in New Orleans, in the French Quarter. The locals are great people; they don't care about your eccentricities; they do care about the kind of person you are. If you don't bother them...

Tourists, however.

Ever notice how some people leave home and decide that the rules of decorum and manners aren't important anymore? Exactly. I have had people scream "It's a guy in a dress" at me. I had a lit cigarette tossed at me (it missed). I have been treated rudely, stared at, pointed at, whispered about.

I should have run back to the hotel, crying, tearing off my dress and wiping the makeup off, promising I will never do this again. I didn't. It just pissed me off at first. Then, I realized that I really did not CARE what they thought of me. I was happy with myself, and that was what mattered.

Since then, I have been all over the country. I have had people make remarks, but that has gotten rarer. I went to the mall last year with a tgirl, and when we were leaving she asked me how I could stand the staring. I had not even noticed...

Do I look better now than I used to? Yes. Am I more "passable?" Whatever that means. Do I have a lot more confidence in myself, feel like I belong anyplace I reasonably want to be, not give a f**k what the tourists think? Oh, yes!

So, one kid clocking you is just little thing. You just go on with the day...
Sometimes you really just need to get on with it. Because when you let others limit you, it's putting you back into another closet.

And I'm no closet queen anymore.

* Clocked-Having someone notice that you're not a cisgendered female. They may just stare, or do something else that makes you know that they know.


  1. Hi Zelda. I snuck in here after your comment of my blog.
    This behavior never ceases to amaze me. The fact that people can justify acting like this to themselves is a mystery. Imagine if people walked down the street pointing and staring, or hurling abuse at someone with a physical disability?! I am also often on the receiving end of such odd behavior, (although fortunately not in an aggressive manner). I get the pointing, the staring, overly loud whispers and from the braver souls, questions about why I dress the way I do. Were I a lot younger, I think this would bother me. But I have reached an age where I not only fail to be impacted by others opinion of how I dress, but truth be told, most of the negative commentators only increase my inner sense of sartorial superiority. ;)
    Whether you are TG, just an eccentric or super stylish dresser; being more fabulously put together than the rest will always attract attention. Consider it validation of your style credentials.

  2. Thanks for the comment, and you don't have to sneak in :)

    I will never understand how people can be so cruel. We ought to accept people for who they are, what they can be. But that's too simple, I guess.

    And how can anyone be negative about your fashion sense? I think you have a wonderful sense of style, and I enjoy seeing your outfits. I also love reading your posts; you're a really interesting person.

    If people can't accept you, then that's THEIR loss. Which is the attitude I've developed...


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