Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Let's not recognize marriage, then

A Marriage Manifesto... Of Sorts | RD Blog: The Devil's Advocate | ReligionDispatches

Tom Ackerman at Religion Dispatches makes a modest proposal-if the majority won't recognize same-sex marriage, why should they recognize other people's marriages?

I no longer recognize marriage. It’s a new thing I’m trying.

Turns out it’s fun.

Yesterday I called a woman’s spouse her boyfriend.

She says, correcting me, “He’s my husband,”
“Oh,” I say, “I no longer recognize marriage.”

The impact is obvious. I tried it on a man who has been in a relationship for years,

“How’s your longtime companion, Jill?”
“She’s my wife!”
“Yeah, well, my beliefs don’t recognize marriage.”

Fun. And instant, eyebrow-raising recognition. Suddenly the majority gets to feel what the minority feels. In a moment they feel what it’s like to have their relationship downgraded, and to have a much taken-for-granted right called into question because of another’s beliefs.

It's a very subversive tactic, and maybe an effective one. For those people (like me) who do have a traditional marriage, it's also something to think about. How would you feel if one day, your relationship was suddenly dismissed as unimportant?

Thanks to Sabrina Pandora for the link.


  1. OMG, I freaking love that idea. There is nothing better than making people see what the other side is like by twisting the situation into a comparison which they can personally understand and feel the impact of. The only thing that disappoints me about that is the fact that I did not think of it myself (I must be slacking, lol.)


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