Proof that I don't burn in the sunlight

This was the first time I was in Atlanta, in 2000. Yes, I was going to Southern Comfort, but first I was going to stay with friends who were taking me out shopping in Little Five Points. I'd flown in the day before and had spent the night at their house, which is when I found out that as nice as they were, I was really putting them out, so I was going to leave their place a day early and move into the hotel where SCC was being held at that year.

But before that, we were going out. And for me, it was a huge moment. Because up to that point, I had never been out during the daytime, or been out shopping as a girl. I threw on my best gothgrrl/alternachick look, and off we went.

And I had a fun day! A great lunch at the Vortex, shopping in the stores in the area. I found my favorite ring on this trip, too. Towards the end of the afternoon, I posed for one last picture, in front of Throb, which was a fetish/alternative clothing store. I spent five minutes posing, waiting for her to take the shot. Finally I just put my foot down, and that's the pose you see.

It's one of my favorites, because it reminds me how happy I was that day, and how I could be out in public and actually be accepted. For me, it was an important day-and one early step.

Now, what happened afterward...

I got directions to the hotel, in Buckhead, and left Stone Mountain for what should have been a short drive. Of course, I get lost. Badly. Eventually, I find the right exit, start driving down what I hope is the right road, see the hotel, and when I walk in the door I realize I'm in the right place.

The rest of that weekend? Fabulous! But that is another story...

I got an excuse from my mom...

I have not posted anything here recently. My job has been incredibly hectic and time-consuming, and having a nice bout of depression has not helped. When I am depressed, I do not feel like writing, which is counter to what others do. I know, I have to be different...

But now that I am getting closer to returning to a normal schedule at work, I will start working on my blogging again. And I have to start getting things sorted out for Southern Comfort as well. I took care of booking a room a long time ago, and by waiting got a much cheaper flight this week (on AirTran, and yes I see the irony there). Atlanta is one of my favorite cities, and some of my favorite people live there.

Thanks to everyone who has commented to my posts; I think a viewer mail post is in the future :)

Just take our little test...

You scored as Transgender, You seem to be transgendered. Transgender 68% Transsexual 43% TS or TG? created with QuizFarm.com

It's only twenty questions. I'm curious what results other people get, and do they think it comes even close to their own

This was a profile I wrote for an old Geocites page. It's a bit...fun...

She began in New Orleans and brings her erotic dominant stylings and dark Southern roots to Dallas. A new city, with new passions and pleasures.

She enjoys traveling throughout the United States and the United Kingdom. Her favorite cities are New Orleans, Atlanta, New York, Chicago, San Francisco, and London. Ask about travel arraingements.

What interests her? Bondage, sexual torment, sensation control and enhancement, leather, PVC, latex, corsetry, gloves, dark Domination, Goth, feminization, maids who are into real service, the joys of being transgendered.

She will push your limits, because that is where we find who we truly are.

Her idea of a perfect moment would be cafe au lait served in a little coffee house in the French Quarter on a fall evening just after the rain . . .

She smokes dark clove cigarettes with an aloof attitude. It's an affectation, but she doesn't mind.

She is a lifestyle Domina and does not switch. No matter how nicely you ask.

What gets her attention? A well-written, thought-out profile. A photo; you can see what she looks like, then she should be able to see what you look like. Shared interests, of course. Sincerity, a sense of humor, intelligence, and an interest in what she wants and how you can make her happy. She considers your words carefully; you should too.

You want to know her; you will never know everything about her.

Every picture tells a story

First, look at the picture:



Now, the story...

Saturday morning, in a room at the Sheraton Colony Square in Atlanta. I'm attending the Southern Comfort Conference, the 2004 edition. I had thought I knew what I was going to wear that morning. But then I looked at the leather corset in my suitcase. The one I had gotten a year, custom made by Paul C Leather. Paul had taken my measurements, crafted leather into beauty, charged me a fortune, and gave me something gorgeous. And even comfortable.

Who could resist? Even though I was at a tranny convention, more mainstream than fetish. Why not? My Smashing Pumpkins t-shirt, which is aways perfect with a corset. A long black broomstick skirt that I'd ordered from Australia years before; something long enough to reach my ankles but always looked nice and was comfy.

Out the door, into the world. And I looked good, felt good. Went to classes, lunch, ran into friends, got lots of compliments on how I looked.

By the late afternoon, it was time for the Southern Belles social. The Belles are a social group, with no dues or requirements other than to go out and meet others. I can get behind that...

Trannys and cameras are made for each other. More digital cameras are sold to transgirls for their own Flickr albums and MySpace profiles than any other reason. Combine cameras and social occasions, it's a perfect mix. After getting some snapshots, I wanted to get a few pictures of my outfit. Which is when I ran into Emma.

Emma is a friend, who I met online years ago on AOL and kept in touch with. She is one of the most creative people I know; artist, decorator, designer. She makes her own outfits. Oh, did I mention she's one of the nicest people I know?

I handed her my camera, she looked at it for a moment, then photographed me. Not snapshots, real photos. There's a difference. She knew how to bring out the best in me, and she took the photo you see here. One of the best ever taken of me.

Highlight of the day? Close to it. When I got to see the shot later, I smiled. Because that's Zelda you see there.

Is that a thousand words?

A few choice words (not mine)

My friend Sabrina Pandora, from her LiveJournal:

If something that I say or an opinion that I put forth or a feeling that I express offends you or hurts your feelings, then don't cry about it to anyone but me. Why? Because grown-ups do that. They communicate. If you are upset with me in some way and never communicate it to me in any form at all save second hand (ie through others) then quite frankly, I don't care. If it isn't important enough to say something about it to me, then obviously it wasn't that important. People who have known me for six months know that. I would expect those who have known me longer to know it that much better.

~~~~~

I lead a unique existence in many ways. No, I am not the only one of my kind in any way shape or form, but I'm certainly different than your average joe on the street. There are some suggested guidelines for my lifestyle as well as precedents for what has gone before. But I'm a very big girl. I happen to think that I am capable of making my own decisions, and determining my own course in life. Yes, I do go through rough times, as do we all. Yes, I have made things harder on myself by embracing the lifestyle that I have. Yes, there are plenty of other ways to go about this life of mine. And no, I am not so egotistical as to think that I know better than everyone who has preceded me.

But this is my life. Mine. It is not the girl down the street, nor that guy over there, and their lives are different from mine. What is necessary for them may not be so for me, just as what is necessary for me may not be right for them. And in living it, I seek advice and counsel from many sources to make my own decisions. But they are my decisions to make, and mine to live with. No one else. There have been consequences for my actions as I have changed myself over the past few years, and I have paid them. Perhaps not without some lament nor complaint, but I'm no saint. I'm only human. How many of you can say that you have not done the same in your own lives, though the outward expression most likely was not nearly as drastic? Do you too not seek counsel from those near to you when considering possibilities or encountering hard times? And shall you too be judged for that?

~~~~~

In closing, I've a few words for my critics first. If you don't like the way I dress, the shoes I wear, the way I talk, the way I walk, the way I express myself, the way that I choose to cope with the attention that comes my way, both good and bad, the way I work, the way I play, the way I dance or the way I date... I have a very simple answer.

Don't watch or listen. Ignore me. That's the best way I know to show your disapproval of me and my choices. Just ignore me and to you I simply go away.

And to those of you who don't fall into the categories of those who disapprove, the same advice holds. If you want me in your life, then make an effort to be a part of mine. A friend I hadn't seen in a long time came to visit me, and we found that after all of these years, we are better friends than ever before, because of the people that we've become. And that's all it takes to be a part of my life- be a friend.

*****

I hope she doesn't mind that I quoted her. A lot. But I read this today, and it hit home, and says some things I have been feeling for a while but had never put into words.

I have some very smart friends.

The Space Between

I have not been posting much of anything lately. But I have a good excuse.

I had to have eye surgery recently. No, nothing to worry about, things went well but it takes time to adjust to things and my vision for reading has not been great.

Another thing has been a situation with my employment. That too will work out. Hopefully soon.

I got a wonderful compliment from Angie Demaskau while we were chatting on Yahoo IM today. She said she liked reading my blog. And I'm vain enough to like it when people tell me they like my writing.

She also said she thought I was accessible and balanced. I hope I'm accessible. As for being balanced, that might be a stretch...